A Sporkbite: The Initial Problem

While I continue to wrestle the alligator of grading student essays (meaning, a lame excuse for not writing any snarky letter-odes-diatribes to the church), here’s a little morsel of my newest column for STILLPOINT: The Magazine of Gordon College (my alma mater). My writing is on the safer side here, shall we say, but it is a pleasure to be writing for such a well-planned and beautifully designed publication.

If you’re just not in the mood for reading today, then you’re in luck! Unbeknownst to me, a video of me reading this at Homecoming was recorded and posted on YouTube. I look like I’m kneading dough the whole time, but, if you’re curious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OufbdvnlIU4

Otherwise, I give you, Sporks: “The Initial Problem”:

I once paid $30 dollars for a T-shirt. This isn’t like me. As a good New Englander, if I can’t get it at a thrift store on clearance, plus the storewide sale price, then I’ll happily don my city basketball league shirt I’ve had since fourth grade. And yes, it still fits perfectly.

It took three visits to the shop, repeated pleas to my wife (who, to be fair, said I should get it from the beginning) and everything short of a prayer meeting to get me to buy the riche tee. But I finally caved. I had to—it had my initials emblazoned on the front. And on top of that, the script was in the blessed, sans-serif lowercase style in which I had been ending emails to friends for the last five years.

So I bought the bp tee. It felt a tad narcissistic, but it was hard to stop grinning as I walked along thinking I’d made some deeper connection with who I was simply by pulling my name over my head.

Then earlier this year these same two apparently humble letters started making headline news daily, and they weren’t in reference to my budding, illustrious literary career. Read More


About bp

I'm writing a book. It's called, Wake, Sleeper. My writing revolves around this idea of art: attempts to recover what is lost.
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2 Responses to A Sporkbite: The Initial Problem

  1. peter guinta says:

    beautifully crafted and as always – eloquent. easy like sunday morning.

  2. bp says:

    That’s why I’m easy. Wait. That sounds terrible. How are those really the lyrics?

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